My Final Post

Speak Up

I believe that in life you lose when you hold back. I believe that when you don’t speak up and state how you feel then you’re missing out on something that could change the rest of your life. Why is it that most people are so scared to state what their heart or mind feels? I admit I am guilty of holding back in my life but I also can admit that those times are some of my biggest regrets now. If only I could have realized in those moments that speaking up could have changed so much in my life. Life is for living and learning, but you’ll never learn if you are silent and merely existing.

Have you ever been sitting in a math class and the teacher starts talking about equations and there are more letters in it then there are in the entire alphabet? All you do is sit there and nod your head but all the while you’re freaking out inside. You never get the courage to ask what any of it means because it seems like everyone else understands exactly what the teacher is saying. Then you get home to start the brutal homework and you’re completely stuck, because you never asked for help or spoke up. I have always been that way especially in math classes and my grades reflected that true.

A few years ago I fell head over heels for my best friend, I never once told anyone. I tried to hide my feelings for fear of rejection. I also tried to make him jealous so that maybe he would be the one to open up and say something. I know why I didn’t say anything and it was fear of two things happening, rejection and ruining a friendship. Recently I was talking to him and it somehow came up, and I completely admitted how I had felt about him. And the most heartbreaking part of it all was that he felt the same way. Neither of us could speak up though for fear of something bad happening, but rejection would have felt better then knowing what I know now; we could have had a relationship.

I am a very stubborn person; I rarely will admit that I’m wrong and even more rarely do I even think I’m wrong. I have such a hard time stepping forward and saying sorry first, especially because 99% of the time I still think the other person is in the wrong. I will hold back until I can’t stand not having that person in my life anymore. But I do regret a lot of the friendships I’ve let go because I can’t just suck it up and say I’m sorry. Life is too short to spend any time mad at someone for silly reasons and stupid fights.

Let someone know that you love them, always say I love you before you leave someone’s presence, tell the people in your life just how important they are to you, do not be scared of love and sharing your emotions, ask questions if you’re confused and most of all don’t hold back because later in your life that will be what you regret. If I could go back in my life the only things I would change is when I didn’t say how I felt in the moment. Simply put follow your heart and share how you feel.

*After writing this essay I realized how much I needed to follow my own advice more because I was starting to slack. I texted the best friend whom I fell for and told him just how much I missed him. We ended up having a talk about us and what should have been.
We’re both frustrated with ourselves for not saying anything when we had to chance, that proves this essay true. Speak up.

I'll be seeing you,

Amanda

Oh to be a kid again..

I love winter. I love being a kid again. Tuesday night the snow started falling and I was itching to go outside! So we got some friends together to go sledding. Now normally sledding wouldn't be so exciting but we have a different version of sledding. Tyler and his family have a suberban, we hooked up two ropes to it for saucers, and then a regular sled was connected to it as well. Three of us hopped on the sleds and took off with the suberban pulling us. Of course Tyler's little and crazy brother was driving so it wasn't just a simple ride behind it, we were flying around corners, swerving, and almost running into multiple objects. I never get the chance to let loose and be a kid again these days so it was needed! I was the only girl and that helped me to not be a chicken about anything! There were multiple times where I almost slammed into signs or the suberban itself, and there were too many times where I got slammed into the other person next to me. But all in all my night before the snow day was amazing! I know it's illegal but when you live in a small town stuff like that must happen. After we went sledding for about two hours we went back to Tyler and Sean's and changed out of our soaking wet clothes. Some more people came over and we decided the adventure just couldn't end, especially because we found out all schools were cancelled for the next day! So we bundled up again and walked across town to a main road where we were going to throw snow balls at cars. It was the longest walk of my entire life, first off I could barely move because I had so many clothes on, second my boots were too big, and none of the roads were plowed. But the guys made it fun. So we started making snow balls and there were hardly any cars that went by, but we got a couple. Then we threw some at this all silver, tinted windows, and lowered car; he stopped his car and got out! Three of the guys took off, but of course Tyler, Sean and myself stood up to the guy and that probably wasn't the best idea. He called the cops and we spent an hour hiding from the local sheriff. We then split into twos and decided to head home. We met up at the gas station in town and walked back together. We were all exhausted after the long walk/run. Tyler and Sean's dad decided everyone was going to stay over because no one was going to make it up their drive way. So we all headed down stairs and watched family guy and passed out. When I woke up the next morning I couldn't even see my car! It was totally covered! But thankfully the guys dug me out. All in all, I just down right love winter. I hope we get more snow soon!

I'll be seeing you,
Amanda

Dinning Etiquette..From A Servers Point Of View

I recently began serving at Ciatti's where I've held a job for about a year and a half. When I hosted there all the servers would complain to me about the crappy people they would have to serve on whether they were picky or bad tipers, I heard a number of complaints. I always thought they were over exaggerating and being ridiculous, turns out I was wrong. I understand when people eat out they expect to get exceptional service and I totally agree with them but that doesn't give people the right to be rude, over needy, or stingy with tipping. I'm fed up with people and maybe it's because I'm working too much but regaurdless I think people are taking advantage of servers. There are many points I have to make about being polite when you are dinning out. First of all if you already know you are picky maybe make a joke to lighten the mood and even say flat out that you tend to be kind of picky, it really would help. Another thing, if you are needy and constantly think of things you want, maybe wait till you've got about four or five things thought up and then let the server know so they aren't running back and forth back and forth and so on. Also, if you have a drink that requires special making do not speak super fast and assume I know exactly what you said. If you want a brandi up with sweet a tad bit sour an olive a splash of sprite and on the rocks say it sloooower so I don't mess up! But my biggest pet peave of them all is the tipping in this world, 10% is not acceptable! Unless of course the service was poor. 15 can be acceptable if there are no bar sales, but really 20 is the new 10. It is soo aggrivating to wait on someone hand and foot and do everything for them and then they only leave you two bucks, it's simply a slap in the face. It's just common curtosy, we are serving to you so be understanding. I promise things will work better.

Well I love the snow, I simply am at peace.

I'll be seeing you,
Amanda

Life, Simply Put

I'm just going through the stages and living my life. I've been super stressed out lately but I'm still trying to enjoy life as much as I can. I have recently been working full time since I started serving and it sure is taking it's toll on me. I am exhausted every day and I rarely ever get a full day off. I'm lucky if I get one day without work. This last weekend I did enjoy a Sunday off. I went to the Viking vs. Lions game. Well let me tell you, I never thought I would see the day where I was in purple and yellow. I was raised a Packer fan and I turned into an Eagles fan for personal reasons, regardless I have always been a Vikqueen-hater. But because of the guy I've been seeing (or whatever you call it these days) for the past year or so I've grown to accept them. I bought him tickets for the game, I know lucky guy, but I had to tag along. I actually had a great time. I think I enjoyed the ride home the most though; we sang our hearts out and laughed hysterically. It's moments like that in life that make me really treasure who I have and what I'm given.

In my last post I talked about my favorite little guy Logan, well I am just so excited because I get to babysit him more in the upcoming weeks. I love getting time with him. This week when I was watching him he put his 'knuck' in all on his own! I started laughing and clapping because I was so excited! I know it's the little things but really it made me so happy. I just really want the best for him.

I can not wait for snow! I know you all want to hit me for saying that, but really I looove Winter! I love all the activities that come with it too! And of course Christmas, my favorite holiday. I am in love with the scenery during winter, everything is so peaceful. There is always something to do during the lovely season too. I especially can't wait to go snowmobiling. One thing I'm not looking forward to is the busy season at work. We always get so slammed during the holidays. It's already starting to pick up and it will be this way till Valentines day. It never really dies down till the end of April, and beginning of June but then it's graduation time so we pick right back up. I tell ya the restaurant business is always chaotic. But anyways, I just simply can't wait for that first big snow fall!

Another thing I can't wait for is getting my braces off! I feel silly being in college and having them. But hopefully on December 27th they will tell me I can come in in two weeks or so and get them taken off! Please, cross your fingers for me!

I hope all is well in your life.

I'll be seeing you,

Amanda

life can be so unfair..

I know, life isn't fair, it never is, deal with it, live with it, move on. But some things are just so ming boggling that it's hard to comprehend why they happen. I know most people say that everything happens for a reason but sometimes I find that hard to believe. It does not put any ease on situations though knowing that something bad is happening for a reason. And why does everyone say the bad things happen to the good people? For one bad stuff is happening all over the world to good and bad people. Second why would bad things be thrown at good people? I know it tests your strengths and helps you grow but maybe life should just be easy going and full of love and happiness.

This little boy right here is the reason for my post. This amazing joyful little guy is facing a battle he doesn't even understand. He can't speak or walk yet, he is only 6 months old. He is Tyler's nephew and almost like my own. Logan was diagnosed with muscualr dystrophy yesterday. This little boy is going to face a battle and once he begins to understand the extent of this disease all he will be able to do is ask why? Right now all his family and friends are just simply asking why? He has been struggling to hold his head up on his own which shouldn't be an issue, and he can barely sit up on his own. The signs were there that something was wrong but no one ever thought it would be something so bad or so extreme. Now I know that you can live with MD but life just isn't the same or as fulfilling. When chlidren, especially babies, are diagnosed with MD it tends to be a more severe case. I don't know how to feel about this whole situation other then helpless. I love him no less then I did before. It's so hard to watch a family go through something like this. All you want to do is make it better but there really is no way other then to be that support they may need when things get rough. His parents just got married this last weekend, one of the happiest weekends of their life, and days later they recieve the news. It's just heart renching. I don't get why things like this happen, I don't get how, and I don't agree with it.

I'll be seeing you,
Amanda