A Roller Coaster Ride

Life has always been a roller coaster ride; the ups, the downs, the sharp corners when you think you're going to fly off track, the drops that make your stomach turn and your eyes water, the moments where you are totally upside down and helplessly hanging there, and the thrill of climbing up slowly but surely making it to the top.

After graduating, moving out, and starting college life has been like a brand new roller coaster; one that I didn't get to look at before I got on it. Every turn is unknown, and I'm unsure of every fall that I'm going to be taking. I don't know when I will get to the top of the hill and then suddenly start dropping and falling. But I also can't predict when I will start to rise again, I never know when things will start looking up.

Since I have graduated I feel like there have been more falls than rises. My mom is engaged to one of the most absurd men I have ever met in my life. He is heartless towards me and believes that because I am 18 years old I no longer need my mom because I'm an 'adult'. He has turned my world upside down and its as if something went wrong with the roller coaster and I'm now stuck hanging there and I'm helpless. My brother has moved to Arizona and all the while I'm so proud of him, I miss him and really need him. He kind of just up and left and I was shocked by the immediate drop. My stomach turned and my eyes watered. My ex boyfriend ruined everything about us and our friendship. It was like a cork screw roller coaster that went really fast, I kept spinning out of control and I couldn't stop it. The most heart wrenching though of everything I've been through is when Rachel passed away. It was when something again went wrong on the roller coaster and on that sharp turn the cart went off track and everyone on it went with it. There has also been the money case where I live pay check to pay check and it's as if the roller coaster is going up and down, up and down, up and down and it's so nerve racking and you just want it to end and smooth out but you have to keep going through it because that's life.

I've had all those downs but trust me I have had my ups where it's so thrilling and I just keep thinking this feeling could last forever. I've met amazing friends and had wonderful times with them. I have moved into a wonderful house with my best friend. I thankfully have spent a lot of time with my mom and become very close to her. I am now becoming a server at Ciatti's where I have hosted at for about a year and a half. I am seeing a guy who is just perfect for me, we are great together and he makes me truly happy. My cousin is going to be having a beautiful baby boy Connor soon.

Life is just a roller coaster and I'm not allowed to get off no matter how scared I get. At least I have people on the same ride with me and to hold my hand when I get too scared.

But the struggle makes you stronger, and the changes make you wise, and happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time..-Gary Allen

I'll be seeing you,
Amanda